


Memories

by Ellemae



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Bed-Wetting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Infantilism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 03:56:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2533268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellemae/pseuds/Ellemae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time Regina Mills was just her son's bitchy adoptive mother. </p><p>But that was before memories of her childhood started to overwhelm her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before the Curse is Broken

"Gees, Em, what am I gonna do with you?"  
  
Emma's head lolled sideways at the sound of Ruby's voice, smacking on the car's passenger side window.  
  
"Heyyy," Emma slurred.  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Ruby muttered. "You know the mayor is gonna kill you right?" Ruby continued as though Emma was capable of a conversation. Which she very obviously was not. "You were supposed to pick Henry up and take him home."  
  
"Hen--" Emma burped. "Henry," she giggled.  
  
"We are going to have a serious conversation about why you're so drunk as soon as you're in the sober, hangover phase, but right now we just need to make sure we don't scar Henry for life."  
  
Ruby glanced at Emma to see if any of that had sunk in and was faced with a dopey smile.  
  
Ruby couldn't help but chuckle. "You are so so drunk."  
  
"Yeahhp," Emma attempted to nod but it looked more like she was fighting the headrest, her head bouncing back and forth a few times. "Ruby," a look of exaggerated concentration crossed Emma's face as she attempted to get her point across, "I wanna drinkk."  
  
Ruby glanced at the dashboard clock then released a sigh. She knew Emma definitely didn't need another one, but maybe a small drink would keep Henry in the dark.  
  
She ran back inside and grabbed a rum and coke in a plastic cup, including a straw for good measure. She did not need anything spilled in her gorgeous car.  
  
"Hey!" Emma's eyes lit up at the sight of the cup. She tried to grasp for it but missed, the cup clearly trying to allude her by moving back and forth. Emma attempted an angry look. Bad cup!  
  
"Nope," Ruby held the cup out of reach and ignored Emma's pout. "Not until you promise you'll sit and drink this like a good girl and not say a single word during the whole ride. Do you promise?"  
  
Emma nodded drunkenly.  
  
"Fine," Ruby sighed, but she resisted handing Emma the drink until they pulled up at the curb near a waiting Henry. "Don't say anything," she hissed as she carefully handed the drink to the blonde.  
  
Emma grinned goofily as she took her first sip, leaning her head forward so that her curls cascaded and created a sort of wall.  
  
"Hi Ruby!" Henry said eagerly as he clambered into the back seat.  
  
"Hey Henry."  
  
"What's Emma doing?" He tried to get a better look at his birth mother.  
  
"She's not feeling well so I gave her some coke to drink. Better not talk to her right now cause it might make her throw up."  
  
Ruby figured it was a decent excuse. It explained the drink and why Emma wasn't driving. It was also the best excuse she could think of that Regina would possibly buy.  
  
"Eww." Henry wrinkled his nose.  
  
#  
  
Ruby watched Henry as he ran up the garden path. Sighing she turned to look at Emma.  
  
The savior stared back at her through heavy lidded eyes. That combined with her slack mouth made her drunkenness incredibly obvious.  
  
Good thing Henry was a sheltered kid. Ruby still couldn't believe that he'd bought her lie. (Especially considering the fact that when Emma had slurped the last of the drink she'd proudly declared "finnnissshed" and dropped both the cup and straw on the floor. Regina was either the best or worst parent for raising such a clueless child).  
  
"Emma!" Ruby waved a hand in front of Emma's face to make sure she had her full attention. "I need to follow Henry inside, make sure Regina knows I dropped him off safely."  
  
Emma seemed to be following along.  
  
"And basically save your ass," Ruby muttered. "You need to stay in the car."  
  
"Just gonna," Emma squinted as her seatbelt buckle faded in and out and she tried to chase it with her finger. "Walk (hiccup) home."  
  
"No!" Ruby ordered. "Stay."  
  
"Okayyyy."  
  
Ruby paused for a second to make sure Emma had truly given up her fight with her seatbelt.  
  
"Okay," Ruby sighed as she headed toward what was bound to be a disagreeable meeting with The Evil Queen.  
  
#  
  
Huh. Emma wiggled in her seat. Yep. She definitely had to pee.  
  
She fought with her seatbelt but eventually won. "Gotcha!"  
  
Opening the car door was easier, but getting out was more of a challenge. "Ooff," she landed in a heap on the ground, tripping over her own feet.  
  
She managed to use the car to pull herself upright, it would have been a lot easier if the damn ground would stop rolling.  
  
Her bladder reminded her why she'd abandoned the warmth of Ruby's car. She could walk home now but that was so far and Regina's house was right here. She'd definitely have a bathroom. Regina had nice things.  
  
So Emma lurched up the path.  
  
#  
  
Ruby groaned as she exited the Mayor's mansion. She was pretty sure Regina bought her lie but just as sure that Regina would give Emma a severe talking to. Probably something along the lines of, "good mothers don't get sick Ms. Swan."  
  
Ruby could've got on board if Regina made that speech about not getting drunk before  5 pm on a weekday instead.  
  
Ruby groaned louder when she saw the open passenger side door. Emma was gone.  
  
After dialing Emma's cell and getting no answer she let out an exasperated sigh. Emma had been pretty adamant about going back to Mary-Margaret's apartment. Ruby would swing by in the morning to scold her. It's not like anything would happen to her. This was Storybrooke, Maine. Nothing ever happened.  
  
#  
  
"Shhh," Emma sushed her cell phone. She was trying to be sneaky here. Yanking it out of her pocket she swayed as she tried to put it on silent. Everything was way too fuzzy so she turned it off, stuck it in her pocket and promptly forgot about it, stumbling further into the house cause she was looking for...something.  
  
Emma yanked open a door and practically fell into the room letting out a crow of excitement.  
  
Sitting on a coffee table next to a leather sofa was a decanter and a half-empty crystal glass with some kind of golden liquid inside.  
  
So, Emma stood in the middle of Regina's study and drank a glass of the best cider she'd ever tasted.  
  
This must be what she'd been looking for.  
  
Emma had just poured another glass (and a large puddle on the table) when the study door creeped open.  
  
"Sheriff Swan?" Regina raised an eyebrow as she took in the sight of her son's birth mother guzzling a drink while she swayed precariously.  
  
Emma turned slowly in the direction of Regina's voice. "Wanna dwink?"  
  
Regina barely held back her chuckle. This was priceless. Emma Swan was certainly not sick but rather in her house and, from the looks of it, extremely intoxicated.  
  
"If I recall correctly, those are my drinks dear."  
  
"Huh?" Emma took a gulp from the drink in her hand, then smacked her lips loudly. "Ish...yummy."  
  
"Perhaps you better sit down." Regina sighed audibly when Emma stared at her blankly. "Emma, sit on the sofa."  
  
Emma attempted to obey, turning and stumbling toward the sofa. It was clear within seconds that she shouldn't even be upright; Regina used her magic to help prop Emma up, narrowly saving her from landing face first in the middle of the glass table. Considering the fact that Emma didn't even know Regina had magic, it was a good thing the blonde was far too intoxicated to notice the assistance.  
  
Emma let out a low moan as she sank info the sofa. Regina told herself she hadn't even noticed.  
  
Regina stood for a while and merely watched Emma. She was slumped against the back of the couch, and every few moments she reached up and rubbed her chest.  
  
Puzzled Regina walked over and took a seat next to her son's very drunk mother.  
  
Moments after she'd settled on the couch she jumped as Emma began to smack herself on the chest.  
  
"Emma!" She was so startled she used the woman's first name as she wrenched Emma's hand away.  
  
They sat in silence for a second, Regina trying desperately to read Emma's face. She looked as though she was in pain.  
  
"Whatever is the matter, Ms. Swan?" Regina asked. "Besides your incredibly inappropriate intoxication." She muttered snidely.  
  
Emma downed the remainder of her drink, then spoke. "I think," she hit her chest again, "I gotta burp so bad 'gina." She looked longingly at the cider on the table even as Regina pried the empty glass from her hand. "Gimme more, pwease," Emma slurred.  
  
"No. You are done for the right."  
  
"But it hurts." Emma whined, sounding so much like Henry. Which actually gave Regina an idea.  
  
"Come," she said softly, tugging the women against her into a sort of hug.  
  
"Whaddya doing," Emma struggled to get free, but had so little control of herself that her movement had the opposite effect and she ended up halfway in Regina's lap.  
  
"I'm going to help you feel better." Although for the life of her she couldn't imagine why.  
  
"Okay!" Emma accepted immediately, allowing Regina to readjust their position so that her chin was resting on the other woman's shoulder.  
  
Regina patted Emma firmly on the back. Emma pulled away in surprise.  
  
"Come here dear," exasperation mixed with a kind of fondness  that Regina would never express to a sober Emma as she yanked Emma back into position. "I won't hurt you. And do try to take nice deep breaths, it will make you feel better."  
  
Emma stayed in the position, so Regina took that as permission to continue.  
  
She patted Emma firmly several times across her back. Suddenly a small burp escaped.  
  
Emma groaned, then tried to pull out of Regina's hold to no avail.  
  
"Not yet dear."  
  
Emma fidgeted against her. Then burped again, and again as Regina made sure to firmly pat all over Emma's back. Finally she let loose a loud belch.  
  
Emma exhaled a sigh of relief. Then, closing her eyes, she nuzzled her head against Regina's neck and simply drifted into sleep.  
  
Regina quickly realized that it would be difficult to move the other women. Apparently the large quantity of alcohol she had imbibed was working as a strong sedative. Emma was sprawled against her acting as a dead weight.  
  
Perhaps Regina could have used magic to move Emma, but instead she accepted her fate. She leaned farther back on the couch, Emma's body landing nestled on top of her, yanked a throw over both of them, and drifted to sleep.  
  
The tension that had filled Emma's body for days began to fade in Regina's presence.  "Mmm," she mumbled her contentment in her sleep. With the heat and security of the Queen her muscles relaxed fully and her bladder released.  
  
#  
  
Regina wasn't sure what had woken her. She blinked into the dimness of the room. It was then that she heard the muffled sobs.  
  
Squinting into the darkness she could just make out Emma crouching on her heels, muttering through her tears and rocking back and forth.  
  
"Emma?" As Regina sat up and woke up more fully she was suddenly aware of her surroundings. The unmistakable stench of urine hung in the air and her dress was wet. A quick touch to her crotch confirmed what she already knew, she was dry, which could only mean one thing.  
  
Pushing aside her own discomfort Regina slid off the sofa and approached the blonde. "Emma?" She asked softly as she crouched down in front of her.  
  
"Sorry, don't send me back, pwease I'll be good I pwonise. Sorryyy." Emma mumbled and slurred as she sobbed, even as she stared blankly at Regina.  
  
It was immediately clear to Regina that Emma was still heavily intoxicated and probably experiencing a flashback.  
  
"Emma, no one is sending you anywhere."  
  
Emma sobbed harder. "I can be a big girl I can won't do 'gain."  
  
"Emma," Regina sighed sadly as she reached out to touch Emma.  
  
Emma flinched. "No! I'll be good! Don't hurt me!" Tears streamed down Emma's face.  
  
Regina bit her bottom lip. She needed to calm Emma down before she hyperventilated. Distracted by the way her damp dress was plastered to her body Regina pulled it off, she'd never been one for false modesty.  
  
She then sat cross legged in front of the still inconsolable sheriff and tried to come up with a plan.  
  
Oddly enough Emma proved to be somewhat helpful. Regina's state of undress seemed to startle her and Regina caught Emma glance at her breasts with hunger. Considering Emma's current mindset Regina decided to take the information at face value.  
  
She removed her bra with the wave of her hand and gestured Emma forward.  
  
Emma cautiously moved closer like an animal preparing to bolt. She was still crying with small choking sobs that she didn't seem able to stop.  
  
"Come," Regina gestured downward.  
  
Within seconds Emma Swan was suckling at her breast.  
  
"You are a good girl," Regina soothed as she gave into her base desire and began to stroke Emma's hair.  
  
Emma sucked harder and more eagerly, her body sinking into Regina's and her tears making way to sniffles.  
  
Regina couldn't say how long it was but eventually the sucking began to slow and she actually felt Emma relaxing.  
  
"Mmmmm." The low hum of contentment caused Regina to glance down at Emma. What she saw caused her to wrench away in surprise. The front of Emma's jeans was turning darker. She startled Emma with her movement and as she pulled away Emma reached for her with a whimper.  
  
"We should go to bed," Regina decided. It was getting late after all. She'd already tucked Henry in before she'd discovered the blonde.  
  
"I wan(hiccup) wanna," Emma trailed off her voice pleading as she stared at Regina's breasts.  
  
Regina nodded and gestured for Emma to follow her. Her mind was working furiously to figure out what she'd seen. It seemed that Emma had been unable to control her bladder when she was fully relaxed. Yet it was clear wetting herself had bad psychological connotations for the blonde.  
  
Regina stopped briefly in the hallway to grab a stack of towels from her linen closet.  
  
Then she entered her bedroom, Emma stumbling after her. Turning to face the blonde she found her slumped against the wall, bleary eyes tracing her movements as she pulled back the bed linens and tossed the towels next to her pillow.  
  
She used magic to undress Emma and then slipped her arm around the naked sheriff's shoulders as she helped her into bed.  
  
Emma landed next to her with an "Omhp", but immediately rolled over onto her stomach and then found Regina's breast, sucking the nipple into her mouth, her arm creeping over Regina's waist. She clung to Regina like a koala.  
  
Regina grabbed several towels from the stack and slid them under Emma.  
  
A normal and curious Emma would have asked what she was doing, but this Emma was too far gone for that.  
  
Regina didn't have to wait long for her suspicions to be proven correct. Emma's heavy eyes began to flutter, her suckling slowed, and the towels began to dampen.  
  
Worried about a bad reaction Regina tried to soothe Emma proactively. "Good girl," she murmured as she stroked up and down the small of Emma's back.  
  
"Mmmmm," Emma hummed her signal of pressure being relieved.  
  
#  
  
"What the fuck?" Emma mutters as she wakes up to find her mouth slack and drooling against the side of Regina's boob.  
  
She quickly realizes she's also naked.  
  
She wants to pull away, she really does, but she can't because something about this fucked up position makes her feel safe and cared for, and Emma's never really had that before. She doesn't know why she's feeling it now.  
  
Regina's fast asleep on her side facing Emma, and every so often her pursed lips exhale air and a piece of hair resting across her face flutters up and down.  
  
Shifting slightly on the bed Emma's surprised to find a bunch of towels below her. As she pulls them out from under her she notes they're damp and sniffs them, blushing a furious red as she realizes she peed herself.  
  
She's not sure what to do with them but as she sits upright in bed and glances around she sees several towels tossed on the floor. She bites her bottom lip to hold back a gasp as she takes in how wet they are. Soaked really.  
  
She's so embarrassed she wants to curl up in a ball and die. This hasn't happened since she was a little girl, when it led to months of bring forced to sleep naked in a bathtub only to be woken the next morning by a startling cold shower to wash away her filth.  
  
She's simultaneously terrified that her bad habit has returned and shocked and oh so thankful that Regina allowed her to sleep in a bed.  
  
In fact she can't believe, wouldn't wrap her head around it if she wasn't seeing it with her own eyes, that bitchy Regina Mills let someone so disgusting and dirty sleep with her in a bed.  
  
Emma glances around the room and realizes with a sinking heart that this is Regina's bedroom. She frantically runs her hand over the sheets terrified that she's ruined an expensive mattress.  
  
She feels a surge of affection as she glances down at Regina. The woman clearly tried hard to keep Emma and the bed dry.  
  
A wave of dizziness washes over her and her body basically forces her to collapse next to Regina. She instinctively opens her mouth and roots for Regina's boob. Then shocked and disgusted at herself she pulls away and curls into a ball, watching the mayor sleep.  
  
When Regina wakes up it is afternoon and the sheriff is gone. She finds Henry watching cartoons in the living room when he should be doing his homework but she can't find it in her to scold.  
  
She can't stop thinking of Emma Swan and tears and fucked up childhoods.


	2. After the Curse is Broken

In the weeks that follow as Henry grows more distant and she fights for what is rightfully hers and the curse finally breaks, she is still thinking about tears. And for once they aren't her own.  
  
She sees Emma Swan everywhere, and even if nobody else catches it (which is really no surprise for they truly are a townful of idiots) she watches from a distance as the savior's eyes dim and shoulders sag. The growing dark circles under her eyes are a clue that no one else seems to see.  
  
#  
  
Regina gives a grunt of disgust as she glances at her caller ID. Why in the world Snow White is calling her she doesn't dare ponder. Then again, it could be about Henry.  
  
"What is it Snow?" She doesn't bother with a greeting.  
  
Regina has seen Emma inebriated before, certainly dealt with her drunkenness more than her parents have. But that realization does little to slow the clenching in her chest.  
  
The last time was bad. This time is worse.  
  
Emma is sitting in an odd crouched position, shoulders completely slumped, and though tears stream down her face she is silent. Staring. A shell.  
  
An empty bottle of vodka is sitting next to her.  
  
"Emma?"  
  
She doesn't acknowledge that Regina is there, even as the woman kneels in front of her.  
  
Snow clears her throat. "She was asking for you...before. All she did was ask for you."  
  
Snow seems uncomfortable with that statement, true as it may be, yet Regina is a mother too. She knows what it's like to put your child first.  
  
"You may want to leave." She's not gentle when she says it, but she's trying to be kind. They won't want to see this.  
  
Charming stands off to the side, hand clenching and unclenching at his side. It is so very Emma that Regina swallows hard. "We're not leaving her alone with you." His words are harsh, but founded in prior experience if nothing else.  
  
"Fine," Regina sighs and she can't help the sneer that forms. Part of her revels in torturing them, even though that part of her is a distant past.  
  
What really matters is Emma.  
  
"Darling," she says it softly, the endearment sliding out without thought, her voice lilting upward as she drags the back of her hand down Emma's tear drenched cheek.  
  
She ignores Snow's gasp.  
  
There is no response to her touch so she repeats it. By the third pass Emma's mouth slips open and she shifts her head toward Regina.  
  
"Right here darling," Regina tugs an almost unconscious Emma to her as Emma continues to arc her head.  
  
She magics away her bra but leaves her shirt, though she knows it will do little to alleviate Emma's embarrassment later.  
  
She unbuttons her shirt just enough and maneuvers Emma toward her chest. She finds Regina's breast easily, and as she begins to suckle a grunt of pleasure escapes.  
  
Regina smiles softly down at her, stroking her cheek gently once more.  Green eyes lazily flutter open, bleary from the amount of alcohol consumed.  
  
"Ginnaa," Emma slurs, mouth popping off her breast.  
  
"I'm right here," she responds gently in a voice that's reserved for Henry.  
  
"Good," Emma sighs before sucking the nipple back in her mouth, her eyes fluttering shut again.  
  
Regina rests one hand on Emma's stomach and the other automatically begins stroking her head, even as she looks up to meet the Charmings' looks of disgust, distrust and utter dismay.  
  
Oddly enough it is Snow who recognizes it is not the time to argue.  When Charming opens his mouth to  fight she merely lifts her arm to silence him and hisses "later."  
  
Regina nods her thanks. "I think I need to take her."  
  
Charming scowls at that.  
  
"But I will bring her back," she says to Snow. It seems an odd promise to make given their pasts but what is odder still is that she means it.  
  
Snow nods regally, for a mother wants what is best for her child.  
  
Regina and Emma disappear in a puff of purple smoke.  
  
#  
  
Waking up in the morning in Regina's room, in Regina's bed, is an odd sense of déjà vu.  
  
She exhales in relief when she realizes she's dry.  
  
She wonders if this will be like last time when they both ignored what happened to the extent that even in the midst of screaming fights Regina held her tongue.  
  
She knows it won't be quite like last time because Regina has an arm flung over her waist (probably to stop her escape) and she's relatively positive the second she moves she's going to vomit everywhere.  
  
Then suddenly, as though prompted by her thoughts, her bladder is screaming at her and she needs to get up now right now and where the fuck is the bathroom.  
  
She flings Regina's arm off her waist, barely registering the disgruntled grunt and soft snore that follow. She races toward what she's pretty sure is the ensuite but it's a slow going because the room is swaying (she's still a little drunk) and she has to stop to swallow the bile in her throat (she will not vomit in Regina's bedroom).  
  
She feels such relief when she reaches the bathroom but it's short-lived because apparently her body interprets it as some kind of signal. She stares down in shock as the PJ pants someone (Regina) helped her into last night become saturated. She tries to stop, her brain screaming at her bladder to obey, but now that it's started the control is lost, she just keeps going and going. She lets out a sob of frustration even as she sags against the side of the door in something like pleasant release.  
  
She startles from her haze as she hears footsteps behind her. She doesn't even need to look to see it's Regina.  
  
Regina touches her softly in the small of her back, and Emma can't help but stiffen as she feels Regina leaning slightly over Emma's shoulder taking in the situation.  
  
Emma stares down at the slippery floor at her feet and wills it to swallow her whole.  
  
Regina's hand slides off her back and Emma tenses, waiting for some reprimand that doesn't come.  
  
Instead, much to Emma's confusion, Regina says and does nothing except for walk around Emma as though she isn't there.  
  
Emma stiffens again when Regina leans over the bathtub, the fear she feels sufficient to scare her bladder into submission.  
  
Regina takes her time, checking the temperature of the water three times before turning back to face Emma. She is startled by the look of unmitigated fear on the savior's face.  
  
Regina walks toward Emma, whose body appears frozen as she approaches. This is not the overly relaxed woman who raced from her bed this morning. This Emma Swan looks oh so young.  
  
"Emma," Regina startles when the other woman flinches away from her. She worries her bottom lip between her teeth then tries again.  
  
"Good morning darling," her voice gentle and quiet.  
  
Emma's eyes darting across her face as though waiting for the other shoe to drop.  
  
"You had a little accident," Regina continues softly.  
  
Emma blanches.  
  
"I don't mind. I just want you to feel better. Wouldn't you feel better if you were clean and dry?"  
  
Regina waits patiently. Slowly Emma nods.  
  
"I ran you a nice, warm bath." Regina smiles as Emma finally lets her close. "I'll even put bubbles in it if you want," she teases.  
  
"Warm?"  
  
Regina doesn't understand the fear on Emma's face, but she understands the need for reassurance.  
  
"Nice and warm."  
  
Emma swallows hard and mumbles, "okay."  
  
"All right then," Regina gives a brisk nod.  
  
Regina leans over the tub to add more hot water.  
  
"What are you doing?" The fear is back.  
  
"I'm making sure it's not too cold."  
  
"Really?" Emma's voice trembles.  
  
"Yes dear," Regina's smile is genuine, if a bit concerned. "Now come here."  
  
Emma shuffles forward.  
  
"I'll turn around so you can get in." Regina does so and waits patiently until the sound of splashing water subsides and the room is silent.  
  
She turns to find Emma naked sitting  with her knees clutched to her chest. Regina kneels next to the bath.  
  
"Should I add bubbles? Henry always loved that."  
  
Emma shrugs.  
  
"Have you ever had a bubble bath?"  
  
Emma stares at her feet until Regina slides a finger below her chin begging for eye contact. When their eyes meet Emma offers a small head shake in the negative.  
  
Regina swallows her surprise. When she first came to this world and read up on customs bubble baths seemed a fairly common childhood delight. Then she remembers Emma's childhood.  
  
"Well, that's not fair," she says softly.  
  
Regina reaches over and unscrews a bottle of vanilla scented bubble bath, filing the cap before turning the bathtub faucet to allow water to cascade over it.  
  
It's impossible to miss the way Emma startles when the faucet turns on.  
  
Regina attempts to distract Emma from whatever the hell she's going through. "See the bubbles?"  
  
Apparently that helps. Emma stares at the bubbles forming as though she's never seen such a thing. Perhaps she hasn't.  
  
Still, she's far too stiff, her knees somehow hugged even closer to her chest.  
  
Regina tentatively reaches out a hand dripping with warm water and bubbles and begins to gently stroke Emma's arm.  
  
"When I was little," Emma's voice is stiff and it's not until now, with the slight slur of her words, that Regina realizes she's still intoxicated. "I used to have...this happened a lot..."  
Emma blushes and stares once more at her feet.  
  
"You wet the bed?"  
  
"Yeahhh," Emma sighs. "My foster family at the time, they had a lotta kids and didn't have time to deal with wet bedding every morning. So after it happened a couple times they made me sleep in the bathtub..."  
  
Regina's hand stills. She only starts stroking again when she notices Emma glancing at it with incredible longing.  
  
Emma offers her feet a small smile then continues, "it was cold at night but it was worst in the mornings cause I'd almost always be wet and they thought the fastest way to clean me up would be to douse me with cold water." Emma angrily brushes a tear aside.  "Normally I wasn't awake yet and that woke me up. It made me scared to go to sleep."  
  
"Is that why you're been so tired lately? Because of what happened a couple months ago when you slept here?"  
  
Emma gives a mirthless chuckle, not really surprised that Regina's the only one who's noticed. "One reason maybe, but nah not just that. It's," Emma makes a big movement with her arms causing water to slosh, "everything."  
  
Regina nods slowly, then notices the water has cooled. She grabs a fluffy towel. "Come on, the water's getting cold lets get you out of there."  
  
Emma looks surprised but the expression quickly morphs into a tiny genuine smile. Regina doesn't think she's ever seen Emma smile like that, with anyone. She smiles back even as her heart sinks.  
  
She holds the big fluffy towel open and averts her eyes as Emma awkwardly maneuvers out of the bath.  
  
When Emma stumbles against the towel, Regina wraps it firmly around her, holding the savior for a long moment. When she lets go Emma is giving her another one of those smiles.  
  
"I'm afraid I don't have anything as uncouth as you generally favor," she says with a sniff as she leads Emma out of the bathroom.  
  
Emma grins.  
  
Regina goes straight to her pajama drawer (she doesn't care what time it is, Emma Swan needs sleep). She pulls out her favorite pair of black silk pajamas and tosses them in Emma's direction.  
  
Emma catches them easily although she struggles when it comes time to put them on, not quite steady on her feet.  
  
Regina turns back around after a long pause and smiles at the savior struggling to button the shirt. Without asking she pushes Emma's hands away and takes over the task.  
  
When she's done she gestures to the bed. Emma clambers onto it, though she makes no move to lie down.  
  
"What happened...last night...when I..." Emma stumbles over her words.  
  
"It's all right," Regina reassured as she perched on the edge of the bed.  
  
"Don't you think it's kinda a gross kink or something?" Emma asked blushing furiously.  
  
"Do you feel sexually aroused while it's happening?" Regina was genuinely curious, because in all honesty such a thing had not  
occurred to her.  
  
Emma shook her head and met Regina's gaze. "No."  
  
Her glance dropped away, eyes focusing on the blanket that she began to pick at nervously. "It makes me feel...safe," Emma mumbled, not daring to look at Regina.  
  
Regina nodded, a movement which Emma could not see. "All right then," she scooted back on the bed and leaned against the headboard.  
  
"Okay what?" Emma looked up surprised.  
  
"You're tired and soon you'll be hungover and I know for a fact you haven't been sleeping. Isn't that why you drank so much?"  
  
"One of many reasons,"  
Emma admitted quietly, sounding disappointed in herself.  
  
"So we shall see if it works sober."  
  
"Whattt?" Emma's eyes grew wide. "No, I don't need--" her voice trailed off as Regina magicked away her shirt.  
  
Emma swallowed, her mouth turning dry, and murmured something unintelligible.  
  
"What's that dear?"  
  
Emma blushed a deep red. "I said it might be sexual now."  
  
Regina chuckled and Emma couldn't help the small grin that escaped.  
  
"Come darling, let's just try."  
  
Regina didn't give up on things she wanted, Emma knew that and in all honesty she was so exhausted that the will to fight was nonexistent.  
  
"Fine," she groaned as she awkwardly inched toward Regina.  
  
"Ms. Swan, hurry it up please, after all if anyone's doing the biting it will be you."  
  
"Oh hardy har har," Emma muttered as she tentatively lay next to Regina. "This is so fucked up," she whispered as she took Regina's breast into her mouth.  
  
They both lay there unmoving.  
  
"This is so fucking weird," Emma mumbled around Regina's boob.  
  
"Shh darling," Regina began to stroke Emma's back with her right hand as her left played with tangled blonde hair.  
  
Minutes passed, but finally Emma began to suckle.  
  
Regina risked a glance at her face and smiled at the contented look she saw.  
  
Emma's eyelids grew heavy and she yawned around the boob in her mouth, immediately returning to her gentle sucking.  
  
"Sleep," Regina urged.  
  
So for the first time in days Emma slept.  
  
When Emma woke up it was gradual, like rising through a puddle of molasses. She began to suck lazily as her eyes fluttered open.  
  
She could feel Regina's hand still weaving through her hair and she sighed happily, letting go and nuzzling her head against Regina's chest, planting a small kiss there.  
  
Regina tensed, and Emma risked a glance upward. The older woman was blushing.  
  
Emma grinned. "That you blush at?"  
  
"Silence Ms. Swan." Regina ordered, but Emma wasn't buying the Evil Queen voice.  
  
"Good morning."  
  
"Dear, if you think it's morning you may be more of an idiot than I thought."  
  
Emma loved that this was still their relationship, even after she'd fallen apart last night.  
  
She needs Regina like she needs air. The only thing keeping her afloat. Regina's arms holding her, Regina's scent surrounding her. Regina Regina Regina.  
  
Regina rubbed a gentle hand down Emma's back before pulling away and climbing out of bed.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what this is. I make no real excuses but also no promises. 
> 
> As I was writing both "Secret" and "Mine" (works that I feel far more comfortable with), I realized that the goal of most of my writing is to explore issues pertaining to Emma and Regina's problematic upbringings & their corresponding mental health.
> 
> This piece could be taken as pure kink, and I'm releasing it with the realization that is how many will see it. However, that's not what it is to me.
> 
> I took the question "what if Emma never felt safe and secure as a child? What if she'd experienced not just abandonment but true neglect? What if she had major issues associated with this? What would happen if Regina recognized this?" and somehow it turned into this.
> 
> Completely unrelated, in case it's not clear, in this story Regina has use of magic during the original curse.


End file.
